The Rise and Fall of Kevin

QUICKIE: Still nothing.  Vincenzo is stuck on yelling “NO!!!” all the time instead of saying super cute things.
When I first met Kevin in Y2K, he wore exclusively free Microsoft t-shirts; Eddie Bauer jeans, tapered somewhat for the perfect middle-age man look; tube socks; and no-name, misshapen tennis shoes.  Case in point:


I’m assuming he also had access to a large supply of date-rape drugs because I know I wouldn’t fall for someone in such a state of disarray.

For nicer occasions, Kevin would borrow a shirt and shoes from his father’s closet.


And for the most holy of holy occasions he’d pull out the Razor Ramon Oozing Machismo shirt.  (I believe this picture is taken from the Pope’s induction ceremony.)


Over the years, Kevin’s supply of date-rape drugs depleted and he realized he needed to change his look or lose me forever.  He experimented around at first.



…until he finally settled on this look: striped polo shirt + cool jeans + Puma shoes.


It works for him.  It works for us.  Or, that is, it was working until he came home from work one day looking like THIS.

ugly k

So tell me, is my husband just so cutting edge that I don’t get it…or is this a mid-life crisis?  I’m not sure which answer will make me feel better, but I think I deserve some answers here!

11 thoughts on “The Rise and Fall of Kevin

  1. Looks like he’s grown in a fashion-sense, but some setbacks are bound to happen…

    I answered the questions about you on my birthday post!

  2. 1. I am confused as to how old he is, unless each picture is of a different guy names Kevin, then I’m okay.

    2. I know other people who work at the big M, and I am VERY concerned about the “fashion” that walks around inside those walls. Someone needs to either redesign the free clothing, or STOP giving it out!!

  3. “Wait, my girlfriend got me a silver track suit like that for my birthday this year! What do you think it all means…?”

    That Mrs. Mouthy is your girlfriend and she regifted.

    After the polo, jeans, puma picture, I was going to congratulate you and say, “Nice job, Young Padua.”

    But the last picture ruined everything. Maybe he is in search of his mojo, baby.

  4. Had I passed him in the halls at the big M, I surely would have not noticed given the bad fashion surrounding him. It can hurt the eyes some days.

  5. Outnumbered: Great. Thanks for outing us.

    Andrea: Kevin ages about 7 years in the photos: from 23 to 45.

  6. My biggest concerns in the final picture don’t include the Christmas sweater as it could be considered “just for laughs” or maybe he just put it on for this posed photo. BUT the fact that he apparently showed up at work in skinny jeans with bright white tennis shoes is a bit more concerning.

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