If the Germans had invaded Vegas…

QUICKIE: Vincenzo: “I played sock skating at Grammy’s!” Me: “I used to do sock skating at Grammy’s, too!”  Vincenzo: “Was it when you were a little boy?”

More on Leavenworth.  I’m not sure how to describe the town to you–I guess it’s crazy like Vegas only without the sin and plus the chicken dance song being piped through the town on a loudspeaker.  And instead of Cher they have an accordion boy.  And instead of store after store of Vegas snow globes they have store after store of cuckoo clocks.

This one store was whacked out though.  I couldn’t believe what they were doing to this one jovial nut and his 200 jovial little friends.



See what was on the wall opposite them?



That’s right, nutcrackers.  Wooden-toothed, lipless, thematically dressed nutcrackers, hungry for PEANUTS.  Those jovial little peanuts were outnumbered and unarmed.  They must have been so frightened behind those brave peanutty smiles.  Frightened and tormented and–


WTF is that?  Don’t look it in the eyes!  You didn’t look it in the eyes did you?  You’re not doing it again, right?  Well don’t blame me if you start growing a beard and donkey ears.  I was the one who told you not to look.

Chicken Cordon Bleu
Squash with Roasted Sage

8 thoughts on “If the Germans had invaded Vegas…

  1. It’s like the “Nuts About” nuts and the nutcrackers are lining up to do battle and wrinkly green hat guy is there to eat the casualties.

  2. Oh, that’s so cruel. Forcing the nuts to reflect on what will most certainly be their untimely demise. Poor nuts!

    Is there some pro-nut organization that could go out and picket or something? You know, like PETA … but for nuts, right?

  3. What a freak show!! That store looks like something out of a psychotic Christmas movie–The nutcrackers vs. the creepy nuts! And that face…

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