QUICKIE: Me to Vincenzo: “Next week is J Week!  We’re going to do a lot of jumping and juggling!” Vincenzo: “Okay.  I will do all the jumping and you will do all the juggling.”

Kevin and I escaped to a small German town in the mountains called Leavenworth for the weekend, sans spawn.  The six hours we spent in the car was worth every gallon of gas, as I am finally caught up on all the latest summer fashions from my July Glamour magazine.  We arrived at 11ish and went to check into our hotel, “right in the heart of Leavenworth!”  I’m going to play a little game of “Fortunately/Unfortunately” with you to walk you through the rest of the weekend.

Fortunately, we found the address right away.

Unfortunately, the address was for a truffle shop that was closed, and unfortunately there didn’t appear to be any truffle beds with truffle nightstands and complimentary truffle toiletries inside.

Fortunately, just when we were beginning to think we had been Internet scammed, we saw it.  The sign for our Alps Romance Suites!


(No; it’s not one of those easily sightable signs you’re probably looking at.  Here, let me walk so that I’m standing at just the right angle and the sun is peeking through a keyhole from the Bratwurst kiosk across the street at 1PM EST on November 15, 2008.  There.)


Unfortunately, it turns out the suites weren’t in this building at all, but we had to DRIVE ACROSS THE FREEWAY to get to our “in the heart of Leavenworth” location.  Also unfortunately, this is someone’s idea of a “romance suite.”


Fortunately, I knew I could photoshop some romance into it.


Unfortunately, once inside we felt like we were visiting some cheap-ass college kid’s room.

Fortunately, we remembered there were hot tubs in each room!

Unfortunately, they weren’t actually in each room.

Fortunately they were romantically landscaped!

Unfortunately, I’m just kidding.  They were surrounded by a trench and a muddy yard.  (It was VERY hard for me to look sexy in these circumstances, but I think I managed.  I at least did better than Kevin in the duplex pictures, no?)


Fortunately, back in our cheap-ass college kid’s duplex room, the blankets were heated!

Unfortunately, the next morning I noticed an unmistakable poo mark on the sheet, and unfortunately Kevin said he noticed it the night before but decided not to say anything.


Fortunately, it was on his side of the bed!  Just when I had begun to think chivalry was dead.

And fortunately, we didn’t spend much time in the romance suites but rather strolling and shopping and laughing and eating rich food, and fortunately we both said we’d do it the same way in a heartbeat.  Because fortunately we share the same sick, warped sense of humor and we don’t mind a little sh** in the bed.


Chili @ Friend’s

6 thoughts on “Fortunately…unfortunately

  1. LOL–Sounds like a great weekend…sort of!

    I can promise you my husband would have NEVER slept in the poo bed–so bigs points for your hubby!

  2. Fortunately, you got a blog post out out of it.

    Unfortunately, it was your blog.

    Just kidding, I just had an opening and I had to take it. I love the picture at the bottom. That’s what all married couples should look like.

  3. Jennifer: In that case, I think I’d rather sleep with your husband than mine.

    Momma Trish: Like I said, we’re sick people, and that IS our idea of a good time! The only thing that could have made it better is if one of us got salmonella poisoning and threw up on the other the whole weekend.

    Renee: Fortunately, it was not YOUR blog. (And I have no idea who the married couple in that picture is.)

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