Does this age look fat on me?

QUICKIE: When I asked Vincenzo for a word that starts with “B” today, he suggested, “Apple-Bee’s.” So…do I give him credit for that one?
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Too exhausted to write much today, but I do have a few thoughts from my last mall experience. I’ve realized why it’s so hard to shop at my age. I go into any given store—let’s say Mariposa for the sake of this post—and I hold a skirt up to waist. The first question I ask Kevin is, “Does this skirt look like something a stuffy, middle-aged woman would wear?” Kevin will say something witty yet reassuring, such as, “Of course not. We’re at Mariposa.” Having passed the first test, my next question is, “Will this skirt make me look like I’m a 30-something wearing a 15-year-old’s clothes?” Kevin will say something unclever and insulting, such as, “Of course it will. We’re at Mariposa.” So I’ll put it back and sulk the rest of the day.

But should a shirt make it past the second question, there is a third question that must be asked: “Does this shirt look like something a stuffy, middle-aged woman would NEVER NOT EVER wear but a 15-year-old might accidentally like and wear, until her friends pointed out that the 30-something lady across the street is wearing the same skirt?” And if the answer is “yes,” then I’ll take that skirt and the matching bedazzled Mrs. Sunshine tube top, thank you very much ma’am.

Oh, for the days when I would just ask if this skirt makes my butt look big. Kevin always knew how to answer that one.*

WHAT’S COOKIN’ 2NITE:
Beefy Winey Crockpot Thingy
Rice
Roasted Potatoes
Chocolate Truffle Cakes

*Even so, he only used to get the answer right about half the time.

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