Oh me? I think I’ll skip dinner tonight.

QUICKIE: There is a sign on some computer equipment at my husband’s work that reads: “DANGER: DO NOT TOUCH. NOT ONLY WILL THIS KILL YOU, IT WILL HURT THE WHOLE TIME YOU ARE DYING.”
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I’ve spent most of my life avoiding unhealthy foods, with McDonald’s being the heart of everything evil and heart-stopping. As you noticed a couple posts ago, we have VERY STRICT RULES about when Vincenzo is allowed to eat there. If things go my way, the capital letter “M” will be the very last letter of the alphabet he learns to recognize, and he won’t physically see it if it’s written in yellow.

But I learned something about McDonald’s recently, and this something must never ever be shared with my son. Come a little closer and I’ll tell you.

The secret is: McDonald’s is DELICIOUS.

And now that I’ve realized that, I MUST have it EVERY CHANCE I get. OMG I NEED IT NOW NOW NOW! IS THERE ANY WORD THAT MEANS SOONER THAN NOW? BECAUSE THAT’S WHEN I NEED MCDONALD’S!! SOONER THAN NOW! ONLY SOONER THAN THAT, TOO!

The problem is that my fast food fix must occur without Vincenzo knowing. I once tried telling him we were at the drive-thru pharmacy when we went through the McD’s drive-thru, but he just leaned forward and ordered “One chocolate cone please!” (which is coincidentally the same thing he orders at the drive-thru pharmacy). I’ve even considered skipping out on church when Vincenzo is in the nursery to spend some time with my own holy trinity of one hamburger, a diet coke and an ice cream cone, Amen.

So I just wanted to give a big shout-out to Little Gym of Bellevue where when the kids turn the magical age of three parents are free to leave during class and fill up on McDonald’s just two blocks away, then still have time to stop by Safeway to stock up on Brussels sprouts and parsnips to cook for their families that night. If I factor in the cost of Little Gym, each McDonald’s lunch costs me $42.81. And it’s worth so, so much more than that.

WHAT’S COOKIN’ 2NITE:
Taste of the Town

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