Fair-ly dysfunctional

QUICKIE: Vincenzo lifted up his shirt yesterday (he wasn’t wearing anything BUT  a shirt and asked, “Mommy, do you want to buy my penis?”


More fair, as promised!


Here is Kevin wearing the shirt he has worn to every fair we’ve been to as a couple.  He’s “Oozing Machismo.”  Hands off, girls.  He’s MINE!




This is Kevin’s lucky shirt, straight from the arsenal of irresistible weapons he claims made me fall in love with him.  He actually put this shirt in the trunk of his car on our second date, which happened to go really well.  I’d personally like to take responsibility for the date going well, as I wore a skimpy tank top under my jean jacket.  I took my jacket off so I could jump higher at the jump reach station*, and Kevin commented, “Maybe if you take more clothes off you’ll jump even higher.”  Only it didn’t sound creepy then like it does now.


I guess in a way, the shirt did bring Kevin some luck, but I have to take you back to our first date to explain.  It was a blind date, and I have recreated part of our very first phone conversation leading up to our blind date.


Guy with Really Deep Voice: Okay, well, see you Friday.
Impoverished Schoolteacher: Wait!  How are we going to recognize each other?
GRDV: Oh yeah.  Uh…I know!  I will wear the ugliest shirt I own and you’ll know who I am right away because no one else would ever wear a shirt that ugly.
IS: …or you could just wear a nice button up shirt and I could wear an orange one.  No wait, I’ll wear a multicolored one with black pants.  Okay bye now.


I’m just saying that if Kevin had worn his Razor Ramon Oozing Machismo shirt, I would have run off with the baseball player who slipped me his telephone number while I was waiting for Kevin to show up at the coffee shop.**  Kevin was VERY LUCKY I stopped him from wearing the shirt.  And so you see, his lucky shirt really does work.


*We planned second date for the Science Center, and we had a fabulous time bouncing from display to display.  It wasn’t until halfway through the date that we realized we were actually at the Children’s Museum.

**Kevin happened to witness the phone number transaction but didn’t think much of it because he was patiently waiting for a girl in an ORANGE shirt to show up.


Chicken Marsala
Sweet & Sour Beans
Tomato, Blue Cheese, and Bacon Stacks
Cherries Jubilee

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s